*Lewis notes that the various kinds of love can intermix like an alcoholic drink (though I believe he doesn’t mean with necessarily the same level of destruction.) A Gift love can become a Need love. “Affection can love the unattractive ” “Affection “does not expect too much,” turns a blind eye to faults, revives easily after quarrels ” “Affection opens our eyes to goodness we could not have seen, or should not have appreciated without it.” It draws us closer to peaceful coexistence. They are themselves, odder than you could have believed and worth far more than we guessed.” Affection helps us to become aware of our own potentially bothersome habits and behaviour and to accept that of others. In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to notice, then to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy, and finally to appreciate, the people who “happen to be there.” Made for us? Thank God, no. “The truly wide taste in humanity will similarly find something to appreciate in the cross-section of humanity whom one has to meet every day.

That “in his own way” means that we are getting beyond our own idiosyncrasies, that we are learning to appreciate goodness or intelligence in themselves, not merely goodness or intelligence flavoured and served to suit our own palate.” But when your friend has become an old friend, all those things about him which had originally nothing to do with the friendship become familiar and dear with familiarity.” “we may feel only tolerant and indulgent. “To make a friend is not the same as to become affectionate. Affection is normally felt towards those we don’t love in other ways or wouldn’t love in others but have learned how over time. It is a great love because it teaches us to accept people as they are rather than how we would have them be. Lewis then claims that Affection is also the humblest of loves because it does not brag, it does not proclaim itself loudly.

The 4 loves by cs lewis